It is complex
How did we get here?
It is complex and it is not the end of the world. In order to avoid the more frightening subjective inquisitions, those thoughts that pop up that we do not want to necessarily deal with, we begin to look outside rather than in and begin to seek for what every “one” else may be doing “wrong” or not in accordance to what I think is right so I can judge, use against, punish or expel. That was the Inquisition and on a collective level what is happening right now is no different. In 1232, a tribunal was established by Pope Gregory IX for the suppression of heresy. It was active chiefly in northern Italy and southern France, becoming notorious for the use of torture. In 1542 the papal Inquisition was re-established to combat Protestantism, eventually becoming an organ of papal government. I am not a Latin expert or a linguist but inquirere gives us the very clue of the inquiry that we all love to do, not of the self though but of everything that is beyond and outside of us. And, with the grand error of making everyone else’s complexities our very own.
This is how men go mad. I am not going to be gender neutral here, because it is due to the maddening of so many men in power that we are where we are.
But, humans go mad.
Over time, we internalize what is not ours to begin with and we go mad. We take on the pain of others, sometimes unknowingly. We take on the pain of the world and our family and our systems. The antidote to this madness is stillness. It is a little dose of stillness, with silence or the hearing the birds singing to realize that all the chatter that is happening in the mind is from the night before and also generations ago. It is from the consumption of television and news and family drama. It is from the facial twitch that you picked up on a friend's face that you took so personally, as you very well are right to interpret as unpleasant, likely because you transmitted to them a signal that was not received so well. We are an intricate system and we are connected. Our nervous system knows and the network connects so deeply with those of others. And when we are in tune, we can at least know what belongs to us and what does not. Generations of trauma and stories that have happened are no longer true, but they still feel true in the organism. The body keeps the score and the body knows is true. Yet, the body and mind can also heal with practicing unadulterated presence. What an unfair way to live in the present moment, zapping out every possibility of joy with a flood of news of disaster, and war and genocide and a full calendar or labor and events—all of which cause some sort of fear, worry and anxiety that the animal within us would have simply shaken off and moved forward with. But, we are human and there is our desire to be empathetic and compassion. And, even then there is fatigue and numbness that plague us which is one of the reasons we are where we are. Because, a few men over time went mad and created religions. In the name of religions, they selected, in some cases they convinced themselves that god chose them to lead nations and people. And then those people created more people and communities that also believed that this is how things ought to be done. Then, an infinitesimal number of us, who try to break free of the system and not be in the laborious systematic servitude of it all, who feel and think and see how souls are being diminished to mere objects of production, is not the way are often unheard. We begin to lose hope as we see those around us fall into the traps of a system that has gotten its grip on them, because security and safety is what we need and seek and the system provides this sense and sensation. Until one realizes, oops, I have once again lost touch with my soul center and I have sold myself to a system that truly does not care for me.
That moment you have the craving or urge to repress a memory or emotional unpleasantness by distraction imagine being able to pause. Even as I write this, I ask the question “how did I even get here?” There is no one simple answer. It is complex and every variable that brought me to this point can be retracted in theory, but I choose not to. In life, some actions can not be retracted and there is deep imprints, but there is a way forward. What is done is done and what is the future is to be created with the present moment of actions based on whatever you take as the criterion for well-being. The simple and complex trick is to relax, but to do so in this climate would be wrong, right? We may have gone too deep. It may feel like it is too late, but as wars and genocides continue, and the feeling of helplessness with the slowly tarnishing compassion and fatigue that ensue, I hope you can remember that a new way is possible. At the least, to not wage war on your own body and mind the way you have in the past. To clear it of any thoughts and patterns that have you deprecating the sacred being that you are. This is what we do. We distract and we deter and we avoid. I distract myself and I deter through self sabotage and I avoid doing the work that my soul wants me to do, becuase at times it feels impossible to meet the demands of our systems. Systems will destroy you in order to uphold a power theyre unwilling to give up. The house always wins, sure. But, the soul is who decides to be so free that it transcends and prevails from what the house had decided for them. They eventually find their way and for some it is only during the moment of transition. Even when the shackles hold us tethered down or we get the disheartening news that it did not work out, the soul in its stillness and silence can be bolder and louder than all the pains and aches of the body and mind.
How did we get here? Perhaps we reframe and ask:
How did I get here?
It is complex but it is not the end of the world. The human heart is kind and very wise. Sometimes we forget that. Enlightenment is remembering that. Over and again!